The Thinking Writer

Nick from PA asks:

I’ve just finished rewriting (mostly compressing) my script. It was 135 pages long, now it’s 112.
The acts break down like this:
Act 1 – 32 pages
Act 2 – 62 pages
Act 3 – 18 pages;
Now, obviously, the exposition seems to be too long. Is this slow start a problem?
I tried to shorten it, but just couldn’t. I still need every scene in it. Should I nevertheless cut it down, or I could use such detailed setup and ‘get away’ with it?

Analyzing a story in terms of pure structural paradigms is dangerous business. It’s not that structure is unimportant. On the contrary, structure is critical. The problem is, solid structure arises from many other aspects of the writing. Simply looking at act breaks provides no insight into whether a story works nor does it assist the writer much in improving the story unless other central issues are well understood.

Structure is dictated by the needs of the story. For example, in “The Sixth Sense”, the inciting incident is simply announced; Malcolm tells Cole he is there to help him. Somewhere between Malcolm being shot and Malcolm meeting Cole, something happened to incite him, but we never know what it is. And there is no first act break to speak of, either. Yet, because the story is very focused around its central theme and maintains escalating tensions and stakes, it is structurally sound.

Similarly, in “Casablanca”, we do not even meet Rick until well into the first act. We do not meet or know anything about Ilsa until the second act. We do not know of the connection between Ilsa and Rick until after that. Yet, the story is very structurally sound.

In your story, you need to examine more than just act breaks. What happens in the first 32 pages? What keeps the audience engaged? When do you create a “contract” with the audience, to use Alex Epstein’s terminology? All of these issues and more play into whether a story works. The fact that the first act break is on page 32 means nothing in the abstract.

One clue to whether your story works is in the wording of your question. It suggests you already believe it does not work. You mention a “slow start” and “getting away with it.” I have found two things to be true. First, I will always doubt my work. And, second, most of my doubts are well-founded. The trick is to push the story as far as you can, which is always much further than you think you can (and many more drafts), and then live with its imperfections. Based upon your question, my guess is that you are not there yet.

Artful Writer has a nice post on event compression, a tool worth understanding. My own word of caution: overly compressing events can be jarring if inartfully handled. Have a sense of what you are omitting and how it feels to the reader/audience.

There is a guy you know who knows a guy. You called him and he agreed to give you some feedback on your script. You worked for a year on this script; you know it’s a killer story. And you know it’s ready. So you sent it to him for feedback.

Unfortunately, the dumb S.O.B. isn’t giving you feedback. You’ve been waiting for nine days. Doesn’t he know you are on a schedule? Doesn’t he know you’re going to make whatever few changes are needed and have it ready right away to submit to that other guy you heard might be looking for something just like it? Doesn’t this guy care at all? I mean, he’s had it for nine days!!!! Christ, how long does it take to read a script? He’s screwing up your big opportunity. Right?!?

WRONG!

Try a reality check. First, reading somebody’s screenplay and giving notes as a favor is not on the top of anyone’s list. If it took you a year to write, why should someone feel compelled to give you notes in a few days? Ninety-nine times out of a hundred, the script stinks and the reader has to figure out how to say something constructive when, if it were a professional read, he or she would just say, “Pass.”

Second, you don’t really need it immediately, anyway. You are going to get notes – you always get them. And the notes will send you into another month or six of revisions.

Third, the guy who is looking for something just like it isn’t really looking for anything like it, nor does he really have the ability to move on anything anyway. If he did, he’d have a thousand things just like it already. (Don’t write to the market. You will always be behind it.)

Fourth, this reader’s opinion is just one opinion. If you rewrite to satisfy the comments for each casual read someone gives your material, your story will be turned to mush quickly.

Here’s a better approach.

(i) Treat each draft as if it were the final draft. Submitting it for notes should be a significant event for which you have put in a fair amount of work to line up your readers.

(ii) Do not rewrite based on one set of notes that were given to you as a favor. Look at the body of notes and make decisions yourself. You will see a pattern to all of them that will reveal a great deal to you. (Of course, the advice is different if you are working on developing the script with a producer. His or her notes count, all by themselves. Even so, don’t be a robot. It’s your script.)

(iii) Take time between each reading draft. Count on your note-givers to take time to get you their comments. Work on another story while you’re waiting for all of the comments to come in. Count on taking time to think about all of these comments before you make changes.

(iv) Accept the fact that some people who promised to read your script will never get around to it. It’s okay. Do not be a jerk about it.

(v) Do not be anxious and make nonsensical changes every time someone gives you comments. Changes should be thoughtful and make a real advancement in the quality of the story. The difference between a serious first draft and a serious second draft should be substantial and dramatic.

Okay. Relax. It’s a process.

Enough. Now go write.

Have a point of view. Please….

I’m begging you. For God sakes, say something with your screenplay. Anything. But have a strong point of view. It’s what separates you from everyone else writing for a living or writing in the hopes of making a living. What you think, how you see the world, what matters to you – that is what you really have to sell. Stringing together a vapid narrative is not enough – certainly not enough to build a career. Usually not enough even to get a lucky break. And never enough to give you any satisfaction in the writing of it.

Guess what Hollywood wants from you? Your point of view. They don’t want Scott Frank’s point of view from you. If they want his point of view, they’ll hire him. They don’t want a neutral point of view (even if the notes they give you tell you they do). No, they want your unique point of view. It’s what they can’t get from anyone else.

Who has made a living having a point of view? Oliver Stone (“Midnight Express”, “Platoon”, “JFK”), Gary Ross (“Big”, “Pleasantville”, “Dave”), M. Night Shyamalan (“Sixth Sense”, “Signs”), Julius and Philip Epstein (“Casablanca”), Robert Towne (“Chinatown”), Herman Mankiewicz (“Citizen Kane”), Aaron Sorkin (“A Few Good Men”, “The American President”), Woody Allen (too many to list) – in fact, all of the greats.

You, too, have a point of view. Develop it. Think about it. Use it to your advantage. Don’t worry that it won’t fly.

It’s

all

you’ve

got.

If they don’t want your unique point of view, you lose. If they do, you win. It’s that simple. If you don’t have one at all, you still lose.

Better to lose hanging your ass out then to lose because you are run-of-the-mill with nothing interesting to offer. Hollywood could care less about run-of-the-mill. Art houses could care less about run-of-the-mill, too. That’s because audiences could care less about run-of-the-mill.

Be something. Don’t be nothing. Please….

Enough. Now go write.

Jim from Ada, MI asks:

I have a question re: formatting.  On a spec script, is it acceptable to begin it with OVER CREDITS?   I want to use a series of shots or montage to establish environment/ character.

The answer to all screenplay formatting questions is (1) refer to  The Complete Guide to Standard Script Formats: The Screenplay, available at most national book sellers, and (2) read lots of screenplays.  They are available online at sites like Drew’s Script-O-Rama,  The Daily Script, Screentalk and others.  I particularly like Screentalk because all of the scripts are in PDF format and, thus, retain the same format in which they were written.  You will see there is a baseline of formatting rules and there is wide variety in how the rules are applied or, often, ignored by very successful writers.  In a spec script, the formatting must serve the narrative.

As for your specific question, the answer is “yes”.  However, I do not recommend using  “OVER CREDITS” ever inasmuch as it takes away from the narrative.  It is never very important to your story where the credits fall.  That is a director/editor issue.  Focus on telling a good story.

“Jerry Maguire”, “The Sixth Sense”, “Pleasantville” and many other well-written, successful screenplays share an important technique. This technique not only helps the reader and, eventually, the audience to engage in the story from the first few pages, but it helps you as a writer to write the story. It forces you to focus your story from the very beginning, something that is key to a successful spec script.

What is this magic technique? Proper character introductions.

A proper character introduction does all of the following: (1) introduces the character in crisis; (2) reveals the character’s internal conflict; (3) provides a basis for relating to or empathizing with the character – even the antagonist; and (4) demonstrates the character’s unique personality.

Character introductions are one of the few places in a screenplay where you can be very, very overt. You still need to “show, not tell”, but you can hit the points incredibly directly.

The best way to understand this is by example, so here they are:

“Jerry Maguire” (written by Cameron Crowe) – Jerry is introduced in crisis, narrating directly to us his strange dream, discussing what is wrong with his life and how he believes it can be saved. You cannot get more direct than that. After these pages, you understand his character, you know his internal conflict, what drives, and to what he aspires.

“The Sixth Sense” (written by M. Night Shayamalan) – In Malcolm’s opening scene, he expresses his worst fear, that he is really a fraud and a failure as a child psychologist, and his desire – not to be a fraud. We also hear Anna’s internal conflict, that she is second to Malcolm’s work. I prefer to introduce one character at a time, but even with these two characters introduced simultaneously, the introductions are effective. We also see both of them in crisis: an old patient has come back to kill Malcolm. We see Malcolm’s genuine desire to help.

“Pleasantville” (written by Gary Ross) – David is introduced listening to his mother argue with her boyfriend as he is engrossed in the perfect world of the T.V. show “Pleasantville”. The contrast between the real world and the TV world, and David’s reaction, reveals what David wants and what he has. His internal conflict and his desire are revealed without David even saying a word. We already know him and what he wants.

Once these clear, focused introductions are made, the writer has a compass for the balance of the story. Every scene will explore these character conflicts and, eventually, the story will resolve the character’s desire. This type of character introduction also builds immediate audience/reader engagement. From the beginning, the audience/reader wants to see these issues explored and resolved.

Not all screenplays are built this way. However, using strong, clear, overt character introductions is a strong technique with benefits throughout the writing process and one you should consider.

Enough. Now go write….